Never Have I Ever
by iwouldntchangeaday
Summary: Scully decides to make a move on Mulder, but she has a secret. How will Mulder react? What will happen to their partnership? Post-Redux. Set mid Detour. Definitely not canon. Lots of smut.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: set in the middle of Detour. Definitely not canon lol. I don't own the rights to any of these characters, nor am I profiting from the story. Blah, blah, blah. Purely for entertainment purposes on my end. Hope you enjoy the smut haha**

Mulder was sitting on his bed, enthralled by the TV show he was watching when I came into his room. The sleeves of his button-up were rolled to his elbows in an enticing manner that made my knees feel like jelly. I slipped in the door— tray in hand— and offered him a slow smile.

"Who cut the cheese?" He cracked a lame joke at me as I watched his brain work hard at deciphering why I came in with cheese and wine in tow.

My smile turned into a grimace at his words and I faltered in my steps, courage beginning to wane. "Since you won't be making it to the conference," I managed to force out despite the renewed sense of anxiety that was creeping its way up my throat, restricting my ability to breathe. After I was told my cancer was in remission a few months ago, I made a promise to myself. I wasn't going to waste any more time keeping the people I love at a distance. I wasn't going to ignore my feelings for anybody's wellbeing or for the security with which it provided me. Basically, I wasn't going to be a chicken about my life any longer. Number one on that list was to tell Mulder that I love him, always have. Hopefully, he will return my sentiments. If not, then that's his loss... and even though I don't know _how _I'm going to survive, I know that I will. By some miracle, if he does love me… well, then that will be a whole different situation. See, there's a secret of mine that he doesn't know, but God do I want him to. I want him to know and then do something about that secret.

I look at him and shudder as he responds with a corny, "Partayyy!" The faint memory of his lips against the corner of mine as I lay in that hospital bed, on the verge of death, has kept my soul alight. I'm hungry for more.

I manage to pull myself out of my thoughts long enough to respond back to him with a witty retort, "However, I must remind you this goes against the Bureau's policy of male and female agents consorting in the same motel room while on assignment." I punctuate my statement with a popping sound as I open the small bottle of wine.

Mulder turns fully toward the head of the bed, where I had moved to stand, and offered a sarcastic threat my way. "Try any of that tailhook crap on me, Scully, and I'll kick your ass!"

"You couldn't kick my ass even if you tried, Mulder." This verbal sparring that we do has always thrilled my senses. When I argue with him, it feels as though someone is lighting a match in my brain.

"Is that a bet, Scully?" He leaned toward me, his elbows supporting his upper body on the bed.

I rolled my eyes at him. "You wish."

He was silent for a few moments. If we weren't so comfortable in each other's presence, it might have been awkward. I sat down on the left side of the bed and rested my back against his headboard.

"Well, just make yourself at home there..."

"I already did."

"Scully, what's your greatest wish?"

His question took me aback. I sputtered for a second, trying to come up with something, anything that would satisfy his curiosity. I knew what I wanted to say, but I couldn't yet. It wasn't the right time… and I wasn't drunk enough. He watched me intently, no doubt trying to read my facial expression. He's gotten good at that over the years. Sometimes with him, I feel transparent, like he can see right through me. Other times, I feel like I could get away with murder and he wouldn't notice. I took a swig straight out of the wine bottle just as everything around me went dark.

"Guess the power's out," Mulder stated flippantly.

I reached blindly over to the nightstand and picked up the receiver to the phone. Silence. "No signal," I told him.

I heard the bed shift and rustle under his weight. "I saw a few candles under the sink, I think."

I kept taking big gulps of wine while he rummaged around in the bathroom. _Just a little liquid courage. _I placated myself. Tonight was either going to make or break. Maybe it was a good thing the lights went out… less chance for me to back out of my own plan without the glaring lights allowing me to see his features and he, mine.

Mulder came out a few minutes later with three lit candles. He placed one on each nightstand on the sides of the bed and the other on the desk next to the television. "There we go," he said, proud of himself. He seemingly had forgotten his question for the time being and I was glad for it. Instead, he offered up another activity. "Wanna play a game?"

I felt my eyebrow raise on its own accord. "Depends on what the game is."

"Twenty Questions?"

"Never Have I Ever." I didn't phrase it like a question. I told him. Improvision now in place, I had a new plan.

I felt him sit next to me on the bed, his back against the headboard, as well. I could barely make out his form in the candlelight. "Okayyyy…" he drawled.

"Counting from ten. You first." If I could eventually get him to steer these questions in a specific direction, then he can set me up for my confession.

He was quiet for a few long seconds. I could feel his brain thinking, even through the stiff Florida air. Finally, he spoke. "Never have I ever… had a brother."

I mentally docked a point off of my ten. "Cheap shot, Mulder," I let him know. "You can do better than that." The question he asked me was definitely not in the direction that I wanted. Though, I supposed that the topic I had in mind is probably off limits in his mind because he didn't want to overstep or make me uncomfortable. I decided to encourage him. "No rules. No boundaries."

I heard him gulp.

"So, nothing is off limits?"

"Nothing is off limits." I reiterated for him. Pausing to come up with a good question, I let my body shift a tiny bit closer to his. "Never have I ever..." I don't think he noticed my movement. Good. "... dated my FBI partner."

"Ouch, Scully."

I shrugged in the dim lighting. "Cheap for cheap..."

"Never have I ever fooled around in my parent's house."

"Even as a teenager?" I was astonished at his admittance, to say the least. Mulder was like sex on a stick. Based on all of the rumors, I always figured that he knew it. It's been a large part of what has intimidated me all these years. He seems so smooth and experienced.

He scoffed at me. "Scully, have you met me? I'm not exactly anybody's Romeo."

His lack of confidence and obvious insecurity baffled me. How could he not know? Doesn't he see the way women make passes at him all the time?

"Imagine my personality in some wiry, gangly teen outcast. I didn't even have my first girlfriend until I went to Oxford and that was a disaster."

Now it all made sense to me… why Mulder slipped back under her grasp so easily when she came to visit. The first is always leaves a different kind of scar. "Phoebe..."

He sounded surprised that I knew who he was referring to. "Yeah, she did a number on me; I'm afraid… scared me away from relationships until Diana..."

"Your last partner..." I had heard the gruesome things that were said about their pairing when I was first placed to work with Mulder. If any of them had a shred of validity, I didn't want to know about it.

"She was..." Mulder searched for the words. "Convenient. She was there when I was damaged and desperate for attention. She was an easy target, but in the end, I ended up being the one who got played. She did help me open the X-Files, though. So I will give her that." He paused. "They're in the past now. They don't matter. Sometimes I wonder if they ever did."

My chest stung at his admission. If I had known him back then, I would have given him the love he needed without taking advantage. He deserved better than how those women treated him.

"Scully?"

"Yeah?"

"Have you or have you not?" His tone reflected a spirit of joviality, but I knew him well enough to hear the underlying curiosity and nervousness.

"I haven't," I confirmed. I shifted slightly closer to him again. He definitely noticed that time. "We're still tied."

"Seriously?" Now it was Mulder's turn to sound surprised. "I don't believe that for one second, Scully. You're the smartest person I've ever met and you're like… every guy's wet dream..." Mulder's voice dropped off immediately after he spoke those words.

I don't think he meant to say them, but if he said something else, I couldn't hear him over the loud gasp that I let out upon hearing him tell me that. I turned toward him fully and shook my head. "Mulder, I was the nerdy girl who always sat in the library. I didn't even go to prom."

Placing my hand on his cheek, I guided his head toward mine. I reached up and touched my lips to his so gently that it almost felt like the touch of a feather before I pulled away.

"Scully?" Mulder questioned me again, his voice in a whisper. I guess I really shocked him that time.

"Thank you." My thumb rubbed his cheekbone tenderly.

"For what?"

I couldn't tell if his voice sounded shocked or strained. "For saying that to me."

"Surely you know that you're beyond gorgeous, Scully. I shouldn't have to tell you that."

Bravely, I swung one leg over his lap and hovered there. He gulped loudly again. "I do, Mulder. I do know. Sometimes, I just wish someone would recognize it or tell me though… So thank you." I leaned back in and kissed him again, a little bit harder this time. This time, he kissed me back.

He kissed me with such reverence that I wanted to sob. The way his hands came up to cradle my face… the movement of lips and the way they delicately caressed my own… even if he hasn't said the words, I've never felt more loved. After what could have been minutes or hours, we finally pulled apart. I rested my forehead against his and closed my eyes with a sigh when I felt his arms encircle around my waist. He pulled me into a tight hug. I wound my arms around his head and whispered against his temple, "Mulder, please tell me I didn't just ruin everything."

Mulder chuckled against my neck. "No, Scully. No, you didn't ruin anything. You just made it all better."

"Good. Good. That's good," I rambled nervously from atop him. "Cuz Mulder… never have I ever had sex."

**To be continued...**


	2. Chapter 2

Mulder choked. His hands unwound from me and came up to grab onto my biceps. He pulled me away from him so he could try and look at me through the darkness. I could tell that he was trying to figure out if I was serious or not. Deciding that it was best not to make him suffer through the effort of trying to come up with an appropriate response, I kept talking. "I, uh, was just always so invested in my academics… and to be honest I've never really found anyone particularly attractive." I reached up to scratch the back of my head. My calves were burning from holding myself up over Mulder, so I let my body fall to sit on his lower thighs. "It's not because I was raised Catholic. I have no problem with sex. Hell, I love a good orgas-"

Mulder let out a long groan that made me lose my place.

I started over. "I just… I've always had this idea that when I fell in love, I'd want to give that person every single thing that I possibly could. And then factor in the fact again that I've never even been attracted to anyone..." I brought my hand from Mulder's shoulder to the underside of his jaw. "Until I met you." I grew still, hoping that he'd have something formulated by now.

When he spoke, his voice was gravelly and deep, deeper than I'd ever heard it. "What about your ex that I met during our first year?"

"We dated for a few months. He was a mistake that I made during a time when I thought I just needed to get over myself and that if I dove straight in, the attraction would come with getting to know someone more. He was interested in me, but after a while, I realized that I still wasn't attracted to him, so I broke it off." I chuckled darkly. "He never even got to second base. I just couldn't do it."

"Why me?" Mulder searched out my gaze in the darkness and the boyish hope that I was able to see in his eyes hit me hard.

I scooted up a small bit on his legs, still nowhere near a certain part of his anatomy that I was desperate to meet soon. "Besides the fact that I'm wildly attracted to you and no one else on this planet? Well, you're my best friend. You're the most caring person I've ever met. You look out for the the 'little guy' and the outcasts. You appear to not care what anyone thinks about you, but I know that you do on the inside." I took a deep breath. "Besides the fact that I'm madly in love with you and all I've ever imagined for five years is what it would be like to wake up next to you every day?" I lean in and kissed him again, drunk on the feel of the way that his lips glide against mine. I think I might be addicted to him. No, I know that. I've been addicted to him for a long time.

"You- you love me?" Mulder sounded unsure of himself.

I make my final move and move all the way up on his lap. His erection is now pressing deliciously onto the skin of my inner thighs through our clothes and I moan at the contact. I've waited so long to feel this way toward someone. I'm so glad that my body and my brain were to get on board and decide to both want Mulder. "Mmhm," I nod against his neck, where my head had dropped when I felt his hard-on underneath me. "I love you very much and Mulder if you don't tell me to stop soon I'm going to ask you to fuck me."

Mulder tensed underneath me. I could feel his heartbeat pulsing fast through his carotid. Not being able to control myself, I leaned in and licked the line of where his artery is before closing my lips and sucking on the tender spot there, causing him to squeak.

"No."

My world came crashing down in a millisecond. My lips let go of his skin with a pop and I quickly started to shift off of his lap. Humiliation. Mortification. The questions of how and why began to rush through my head. Why did he let me go so far if that was going to be his answer? How am I ever going to be able to look at him again?

His arms reached out and yanked me back toward him before I could get too far. "Scully, stop. Don't do that. Don't shut me out so fast. Let me finish." Despite his words, I still couldn't look at him. His finger under my chin directed my focus onto his face forcefully.

I was afraid of what I would see there, but all my eyes could perceive was kindness.

"I'm honored that you want to trust me with this."

His words stung. Though they were positive, statements like that almost always ended with a _but._ I tilted my head up and looked away from him.

His hands came up to from both sides of my phase and redirected my gaze again. "I just want to make sure that this is what you want. I want to talk this through with you, Scully. I need to know what you expect from this because I can't just love you once, Scully. I love you too much for that."

I felt his thumb wipe a tear from my cheek. "Mulder, I want you to be my first and my last. I want to make love to you every day for the rest of my life. I want to be your partner in every sense of the word."

"So this is forever?"

"I- uh-" I got nervous at his word choice, unsure of his stance. "Yes, if you'll have me..."

"Oh, God, Scully!"

I didn't have time to ponder his reaction because the net thing I knew, his hands had wound themselves in my hair and he was kissing me with a passion I had never experienced before. It felt like my whole body was thorumming with electricity, bound to burst at any given second. I responded to him with equal fervor, allowing my hands to explore the expanse of his chest, abdomen, and arms. Mulder moaned into my mouth when I let my fingers ghost over his ribs. I pulled my mouth away from his but didn't let it stray very far. Our breaths were now heavy from exertion as they intermingled with each other. "Mulder," I rasped. "Please, touch me!"

He wasted no time pulling my torso flush with his, with his hands on my back. They traveled up and down a few times before wedging their way under my shirt. I began to gasp lightly into his mouth at the feel of his skin against mine in such an intimate place; however, it quickly turned into a full-blown moan when his hands took a very sudden detour and gripped my ass cheeks hard, moving my whole body with it. "Mmf," I let out another groan as his fingers flexed and began to map out the previously off-limits areas of my body. All of a sudden, I felt very hot. Pull away from his mouth entirely, I began to pull at my shirt. Once mine was gone, I reached out and pulled his off too. I was about to dive back in when I noticed that Mulder's eyes were focused on my chest. Last time Mulder had seen me in my underwear happened to be five years ago and I had long since gotten rid of all of my good-girl clothes. All I own now is lingerie. It makes me feel sexy and confident, even though no one knows that I wear it… except for Mulder now.

"Jesus," he whispered, practically salivating at the sight of the black lace.

I took his admiration as an opportunity to get rid of the garment. Reaching behind me, I expertly undid the clasp with two fingers and let my breasts fall from their support.

His hand came up slowly and traced the outline of each breast, before moving in and circling my nipples. He looked up at me questioningly and I pressed my chest into his hands as a sign of encouragment. "Go ahead. Don't be afraid; they're not very sensitive. You can bite them even." That apparently was all the convincing that he needed because he began to lap and squeeze my breasts with enthusiasm. I never imagined how good it would feel to have my nipples be manipulated by another person's hot mouth, but oh my Lord, does it feel good. A series of loud moans from Mulder caused me to realize that I had at some point begun grinding my core against his hard-on. His hands gripped my hips with a force that I had never expereinced from him before.

He turned our positions so fast that I let out a screech and a giggle at the movement. I was now on my back, staring up at the love of my life as he rested his body in between my legs. "Scully, I'm going to make sure you feel loved and treasured every day. I want to give you everything. Forever."

"Oh, Mulder," I murmured, overwhelmed by the amount of affection he was showing me. "You already have. You're all I've ever wanted."

When our lips reconnected again, I knew that my life had not been spared without reason. There was so much more to living than mere accomplishments. The relationships you forge with the people around you are what really matters. Life is nothing without love. I'm not sitting idle anymore. This is the start of the rest of my life.


End file.
